5 Years... And the time is starting to fly.

Wow,

5 years - I've grown so much in that time, yet, I still have so much more to learn.

As I take time to reflect on the last year I have to say so much is ever-changing, life just seems to go by so fast now. I have come to the conclusion that routines are a good thing in moderation, but they are meant to be broken. This year has taught me to stop saying no and to say yes more. Life is certainly all about balance! I went from unemployed (no routine) to employed with a very strict routine. And in the routine, I lost my sense of adventure.

So where did I leave off?

 Ahh Yes! Seattle. I've been here now for about 15 months. I have to say the guys are just the same as they have always been. I know it's terrible to generalize but I've never felt more secluded in the LGBT community as I do here. Luckily, though I almost missed out, I met someone pretty special in April. We haven't put a label on anything yet, but today marks 6 months since we met. There is no better feeling than finding someone who gets you out of your comfort zone (routine), is supportive of your goals and is able to keep up with you even from the opposite side of the country.

Wait wait wait....

Before my few local friends call me out. I have to say I would be lost without you select few! You all have come to my rescue, whether you were just an open mind ready to listen, a concert buddy, a clubbing or adventure buddy I cannot thank you enough for getting me out of my routine and helping me get back into my fun loving spontaneous AF self.

Looking back on this year has made it clear to me that though you can try and try and try and try to come off as someone who has it all figured out, don't miss out on life to try to uphold this appearance. Life is a raw experience- you don't get to go back and make edits when your time comes. So live in the moment, be spontaneous, be safe, and cherish the moments spent with those that bring out the best in you. For it is those people that have saved this year from becoming a total loss and I cannot thank them enough for that. 

Until next year-

Tyler

4 Years... Better LATE than never, just like coming out of the closet.

Forgive me if this post is very April-August 2016 heavy... So much has changed in the past few months.

Picking up where "3 Years" left off, I continued life in a poly relationship over Halloween and the holidays. It was the first real experience I had with actual pressure to commit to holiday parties beyond the typical family happenings. I managed pretty well, though being part of a split family I always felt I was spread pretty thin. Regardless, I learned you really can do anything you set your mind to.

2016- The year of traveling with a partner or two ;)  
New Years Day the 3 of us headed to Chicago to get away for a much-needed break and regrouping. We enjoyed exploring and, started off the year right in my opinion.
April took us to Toronto, just another quick trip together to explore. It was nice to experience Canada beyond the airports I experienced summer 2015. On this trip, I distinctly remember sharing a laugh about an interaction with an older gentleman at a rest stop. I simply held the door for him and, he had to ask where I was from because that was "the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him." Once we arrived in Toronto we treated our trip very similar to Chicago, exploring what we could in the time that we had. On our way home we made our way to Niagra Falls, making sure to make use of the far superior Canadian view.

EMU GRAD! 
I made it, commencement seemed to sneak up on me. It's always bittersweet to close a chapter that was made up of so many shaping experiences. At commencement, I sat with one of the first LGBT friends I made at EMU. Sporting my rainbow chords provided by LGBTRC I was happy to represent my community that I had grown into so openly. Because of ticket limits, only one of my boyfriends could attend the actual ceremony. The other met up with my mom's side of the family for a dinner in my honor. We went to Applebee's and, Jim met up with us outside wielding a bouquet of flowers. DRUMROLL PLEASE HERE IS THE OBLIGATORY AWKWARD MOMENT OF THE YEAR: I hesitantly accepted the flowers and felt inclined to leave them in the car, however, Jim insisted I take them in. Meeting up for dinner included: my mother, my two "friends", my grandparents, my sister and I. The dinner was pretty quiet, lots of small-talk (the worst). Peaking my anxiety my grandpa asked me if the flowers were "from my girlfriend." I wanted to curl up into a ball and roll away... Talk about awkward! I shrugged it off as I typically do. I have no clue if I will ever completely come out to him. Dinner awkwardly continued and we eventually parted ways so I could go home and nap.

MAY: The Rollercoaster Month            
It had been no secret over the past couple of months that I had an interest in moving my life west to Seattle. I had sought counseling at EMU's Snow Health Center to confront the anxiety surrounding the idea and some relationship troubles. My counselor was amazing and brought me the answers I knew in my heart were true. With all of this in mind, we took a week vacation to explore the Seattle area. I'm still impressed with the amount of planning I put into the trip. Long story short Jim and Blake weren't exactly thrilled with the hotel when we arrived but it was an experience. We met with some local friends and did all of the necessary exploring. It felt very vacation-like as we returned the other 2 seemed eager to be boarding the plane back to Michigan. In my heart I knew what was to come would not be pretty, at before boarding the plane I knew in my heart Seattle was the place for me.
As we settled back into the routine of being home in Ann Arbor, I went home for my mom's birthday celebration. When I returned my partners informed me of their reluctance to move. It was quiet for a while we enjoyed a few days still all together and then I informed them that I still wanted to move. Very shortly after I was making arrangements to move out and up to my grandparent's house.
I'm sure it is uneasy for any breakup, co-existing for the few days before I moved proved to be the most difficult thing I ever endured; mostly due to their continuing as if nothing had changed as far as having friends over and going out. Needless to say, I maintained a busy schedule myself. They were gone for the weekend so I took that opportunity to pack and move my things crying and listening to the most heartwrenching songs I could endure. I guess I was trying to purge out as many feelings as I could.
Summer at home; preparations
Moving into my grandma's house proved to be the best situation I could ask for it gave me the time I needed to get back to my roots. Joey (surprise I actually adopted a cat back in Feb.) acclimated to the other animals well. Spending time with my cousins before my move across the country was the best situation. To prepare for my move I started selling my belongings including my car and saved as much money as possible. June 25 was the day I marked the departure.
I've Arrived 
Post a 9-day camping/road trip with the closest person I have to a brother. I began my life in my city. The job hunt has been interesting- a slow process but some good leads are coming down the line now. The gay community out here is different but, I've managed to make a few friends that don't just want to have sex with me. Being here for 2 months I was hoping to have something locked down by now. But, as they say: "good things come to those who wait."

With that, I find myself here having a few friends, my cat, and a regular bar. Here's to hoping for the best as I begin my career. Looking forward to my 5th year out and proud as I begin this new chapter.

Cheers!

3 Years

Three Years! It is amazing how time flies. Here I sit outside, my senior year upon me, and feeling the best I've ever felt in my 3 years as an out gay man.

This year has been so amazing! It started off in Hawaii last August. I have fond memories of sitting out on the beach of the big island beach house my parents had rented reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and exchanging text messages across a six hour time difference with a new friend. My new friend Jim and I shared awkward and weird conversations in what I'm sure was his free time and my mornings into my laid-back Hawaiian afternoons when he would tell me he was off to bed. We talked about the book I was reading and silly topics like "What would the antonym to vanilla be?" I think we agreed on confetti cake... Jim and I continued to talk on and off all summer.

Returning to EMU...
As soon as my first Hawaiian excursion came to a close I returned to my apartment at Eastern. My best friend Angela was staying with me for the summer and we were stoked to go see Katy Perry the week of my return. We went all out creating costumes complete with lights and individually glued on feathers. It was a great close to the summer with RA training approaching quickly for us both.

I survived training and syllabus week and then it was time for a little social interaction. Of course I was using grindr to find gay friends and it just so happened that I had been talking to a guy who just so happened to know Jim. I was hanging out with this guy a lot (mostly because he was a U of M guy who could get me into a lot better parties than my own campus had to offer).

Then it happened...
He invited Jim and Blake over. (Blake is Jim's Boyfriend) So there we were all sipping on glasses of wine listening to the finest music fall of 2014 had to offer. I remember blake and I eyeing each other and Jim imitating Nicki Minaj's Anaconda:

"This dude named Michael used to ride motorcycles"

They were both so cute and nice I wasn't really interested in anything else going on, I just wanted to know more about them. Now forgive me for my memories have been blurred by alcohol consumption and time but over the next couple of days/weeks I kept my social schedule pretty packed Jim, Blake, and I began Hanging out more a few times with others, a time or two with Angela, and then the 3 of us went on a date.

Jim had mentioned Polyamory before, and asked if it would be something I would consider. I didn't think twice about it, yes I knew it would be yet another thing I would have to "come out" about, but why not give it a shot?

On the 26th of October, all three of us sitting together on their tiny love seat in their small one bedroom apartment they asked me to officially be their boyfriend.

Now, Nearing the 26th of August (our 10 months) I cannot believe

Year Two...

This second year has had its ups and downs. I had my first labeled relationship, and I learned a lot!! I know that it didn't work out, but everything happens for a reason. Moving to the much heavier topic at hand this past holiday season I took a lot more heat from family members than I had in the past. I'm not sure that some of the comments were meant for me to hear but I did. I've definitely noticed a change within myself in dealing with these situations since my coming out. Its like I opened the closet door and with that I let my guard down. Coming into my own skin a loving myself took a giant step and every insult felt like a chip out of my new armor. I took a facebook comment particularly hard to deal with. It was on a picture of me and the guy I was dating at the time. I ended up having really bad dreams where the person who left the comment would end up killing me. Imagine waking up short of breath to the point of almost hyperventilating. It really hurt that my christmas season was ruined by a couple of bigots.

All in all this year presented some challenges that helped me to grow as a person, face my fears, and stand up for myself.

-tlrcorbin

ONE YEAR

As the title says, I've lived through "one year" out of the closet. And what an amazing year it has been. moving forward from where I left of I told my mom via text. Not the best decision but it was nice to have her know...

September I went to school and met so many amazing people. The best part was knowing I could be myself upfront! No LIES to uphold! My school is a place where I know I am comfortable. In fact within the first week I had purchased the song "this is me" from camp rock. Also my school offered other opportunities to expand my "network". I went to one Quest meeting, that's EMU's gay support club. I didn't overly enjoy it but I did meet and Amazing Bromo. After school activities were fun too! The Gay Clubs are fun but can be a bit intimidating with all the horndogs...

Moving beyond the school-year I had a chance to meet up with the boy from last summer twice. He lives in Indianapolis now and seems to be doing awesome in his new career. I guess he'll always be my summer boy X2. But I can say for now I am content with where I'm at this point in my life I'm focusing on me and my dreams. I know the perfect guy is out there waiting for me and I'll find him eventually.

HAPPY BIRTHGAY TO ME

Thanks for reading,
   
              Tyler

AS OF TODAY I CAME OUT TO MY STEPMOTHER AND FATHER

Today was a day of mixed feelings because I had a lot on my plate.... Work, A final date with a boy I liked before we headed to separate ends of the mitten for college. This day was looking to be a sorry one... After my final date with this special man was over, I had to drive home... emotions running wild over the fact that I had just kissed the boy I liked, knowing that this night would be the last night for a while that I would have the chance to see him.

 I decided now was the perfect time to tell my parents about my homosexuality. With Katy Perry driving my emotions as I jammed out on the way home; I gathered my words to tell my parents.

My dad made it easy for me. Greeting me as "queer boy" as I skipped into the house. I agreed with him, and soon enough I was repeating the words I'm Gay, I'm a Homosexual to my stepmom and father until they could comprehend what I was saying.

After it fully hit them, my dad was the one to ask all of the awkward questions... They weren't so bad. I just kept one thing in mind... BE HONEST!!!!

And that's how my parents found out that I am Gay... I only wish now I would've told them sooner!

Tyler Corbin 8/22/12